FB & The Not Really Dead Girl/Client Stories


I put many people to sleep during their massages. It’s actually one of the biggest compliments to accomplish that.

This however was different.

I finished the massage, placed my hand on her shoulder and said “Ok, so and so, you’re all set.”
No movement.
I gently shook her under the assumption that she’d fallen asleep.
No movement.
I started to panic.
I ran into the next room and asked the other therapist what to do. She thought she would add to my panic by telling me the client could have gone into diabetic shock which can lead to coma or death.
Great – there goes my tip.

I remembered that she came in with a friend who I was really hoping wasn’t dead too because I needed some help here.
She was in the sauna and I calmly walked in and told her that I was having trouble waking her friend up.
She laughed and said “Oh it’s fine, she took a Xanax before the massage.”
I asked her if she could please go and get her jackass friend off my table (said the person who once took a sleeping pill before a meditation class and let the instructor believe she was that good.)

Idiots. The lot of us.



17 thoughts on “FB & The Not Really Dead Girl/Client Stories

  1. There goes my tip… awesome. I’d totally drink up before a massage, not that I’ve ever had a real massage, but I do like to drink. I passably know what Xanax is, but not interested in anything that makes me feel grubby that can’t be squired out my nose. I hope you get what I mean.

    I’m just glad you’re here, you magnificent fucking weirdo, five whole rye-and-gingers couldn’t make you look an ounce better to me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s