“There are two avenues for broken lost people; they either find Jesus or become massage therapists”
Go to massage school.
It is without a doubt the most rewarding & fun job you could possibly get paid to do (besides eating cake and getting finger fucked simultaneously).
Jesus. That was absolutely revolting, inappropriate…and true.
Even at it’s worst, it’s twelve thousand times better than sitting in a cubicle performing tasks a mildly retarded monkey could accomplish while also being pressured into superficially signing endless birthday cards and chipping in for mediocre last minute stale birthday cakes for every god damn employee who works within 100 feet of your utterly sad workspace.
You will ALWAYS own the skill of massage therapy.
You will ALWAYS have a way to make a living.
Not a great living. Whatever.
I have worked with the most wonderful, loving, talented, creative, hard-working, thoughtful, bright, and fun people imaginable.
Don’t tell them that. Let’s let them think they are the mindless fools I make reference to.
It costs a lot of money.
Everything costs a lot of money.
But you’re gonna get way more bang for your buck than that $100,000 you spent on plastic surgery to look like Justin Bieber. Sorry, I’m not quite over that yet.
I love what I do.
I really do.