Monster update

monsterTo get you up to speed;  I have been browsing jobs on Monster.com requesting that they send me emails with new jobs that match my search entry of Spa Manager.
The following are some of the emails I received with what monster.com has concluded are good matches for me.

Sous Chef  North Carolina State Univ. – NC-Raleigh – Posted: 7/13/2013
Monster seems to be pushing this culinary vocation. I’m not sure why. They never even tasted the meatballs.

Product Specialist Camping World and Good Sam – Fayetteville – Posted: 7/15/2013
Somehow I am now qualified to sell fishing tackle and possibly guns.

Maintenance Engineer Full Time La Quinta Inn & Suites Charlotte south – NC-CHARLOTTE-28217 – Posted: 7/16/2013
This is getting a little insulting.

Route Sales Representative – Foodservice, Hospitality Job Ecolab – NC-Asheville-28801 – Posted: 7/17/2013
I couldn’t even tell you what this was at gunpoint.

HRIM Specialist North Carolina State Univ. – NC-Raleigh – Posted: 7/18/2013
No idea what this is. I thought it might be fun to guess so here are my top 3 guesses:
Hot Racist International Mechanic
Hairy Racked Immigrant Magician
Hobbit Rabbit Instant Messenger

Software Sales Executive- Mid Market- CorporateVocus – NC-Morrisville-27560 – Posted: 8/5/2013
No, I couldn’t be kidding less.

As amusing a ride as this has been, I’m going to both unsubscribe and send them an email without judgment.
As if that’s possible.

Dear Monster.com

monster
Not sure why I went to Monster to browse for jobs. I have a feeling it was as superficial a reason as I just liked the logo.

Although it’s not difficult to understand where they were coming from, the lazy stupidity displayed here is exhausting.

I entered Spa Manager in the job position bar and signed up to receive emails when any new jobs that matched my search became available.
So far, the following two jobs were emailed to me:

Chef Supervisor Abernethy Laurels – NC-Newton-28658 – Posted: 7/12/2013
Spanish Instructor Catawba Valley Community College – NC-Hickory-28602 – Posted: 7/10/2013

I cook meatballs sometimes. I’m not sure that would qualify me for the first job. Although, who knows? Maybe I’m being too pessimistic and self-depricating. Does making myself coffee count? And after re-examining the job title, I realized that it’s a supervisory position. So I probably don’t need to have any cooking skills at all! It seems all they are looking for is someone to tell other chefs what to do. I don’t want to brag but I believe I can do that blindfolded.

At least Spanish Instructor contains the letters S P A in it although, honestly, I’d be more proficient (‘good’, in case any massage therapists are reading) at the bully chef thing.
I know how to say shoe and water in Spanish and sometimes I don’t throw up when it’s yammered next to me on a bus or subway car but again (and this may be the lack of self-confidence talking), I’m not sure this would be the best fit for me. And as if I would work at a Community College. Pfffffff! (I spelled this phonetically after making this sound out loud and this is definitely the correct spelling).

You may think this sloppy example of the ineffectiveness of this on-line service would be enough to deter me from wishing to receive future postings, but I’m gonna stick with it purely for the comedic value.
And in case I take up Spanish – at a frillion years old.

Stranger things have happened.