Massage Envy petitions


so done with this massage envy petition thing.
of course i originally signed it because that’s what sheep do.
then i briefly got a job managing a similar place. and i learned stuff.

and i need you all to shut the fuck up about this already.
know why?

because unless i have lost my sight completely, there are zero petitions about the horrific, unfair, borderline abusive ways we’ve been treated at all the other spas we’ve worked at.
because although we were paid well with benefits including high commissions, full health insurance, matching 401k and sick days,  it didn’t make these places any better than massage envy.
not by anydamnone’s measure.
we’ve been summoned to work with no clean linens, no air-conditioning in 1000 degree weather in basements with cockroaches and verbal abuse. but we got paid well so i guess no petition warranted.

stop sending me those emails and work on something productive, like shutting your everlasting pieholes.



3 thoughts on “Massage Envy petitions

    • When do we get the money without the suckery, Trent? Hmmm?
      Cherry? Not my fave but it may be that it makes me think of Hostess pies and those aren’t
      pie at all. In fact, I’m pretty sure they are as far from real pie as possible.
      It’s not like how McDonald’s apple turnovers are real apple pie. And I just called them turnovers. Yeah, that sounds so fancy and like
      something you’d get from Balthazar not from a freezer sitting atop pounds of unidentified wannabe lean sirloin.

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