How to comment on this blog

It has been brought to my attention by my well-educated friends (who are not well versed in blogging because they have lives) that it isn’t clear how to leave a comment on my posts.  I asked my fairly-intelligent boyfriend to look at my site and see if he could find a place to comment.  He stared at it like an unwrapped, unused tampon, having no clue what to do.  I realized that it was not, in fact, obvious.

Click on the light grey thought bubble next to the ‘post title’.

No judgments.

13 thoughts on “How to comment on this blog

  1. I am a 22 year female looking into attending school for my certification as a MT. However I have been led astray from all the negative feedback regarding burn out and statistics preaching that the average lifespan of the career is only 3-5 years.

    I’ve also been told it’s all about how you take care of your body. (Get a massage once or twice a week, workout, stay healthy, etc. etc.) Would learning and implementing many other techniques help prolong the career? Such as hot stones, getting a dual certification as an esthetician..? I would like to open my own spa one day, and was hoping that if I were to ever burn out, I would still have the business to run.

    In your honest opinion, is an additional 15k in loans worth it? I’ve read it’s recommended this career be undertaken as part-time, which would mean I would need another job. I’m very young and don’t want to waste all of that money on a career that could debilitate my body and leave me jobless.

    Thanks!!

    • KN – I am so excited to respond to this question I may have just wet my panties. This reply is just a placeholder so you don’t think I’m some slacker-trash who doesn’t care about massage at all and am just interested in bathing in the glory of having a blog to write critical nonsensical passages on. I did just get home from babysitting 2 fairly small children that I adore but am so tired I may have just eaten a banana with the peel on it. I will respond with a delicious sincerity to you as soon as my head returns to my body. I am chock full of info that you will absolutely benefit from.

      • Coffee in hand and changed underwear, I am ready to give you the best advice (other than please don’t have sex without condoms) you’ve ever received. Sit down, get a glass of wine or a beer (I know it’s only 11am but I am most definitely a bad influence in moderation).
        You are 22. Go to massage school. It will be the best experience of your life, you will, without a doubt, meet the most incredible people in the world and you will ALWAYS own this skill. However – (here we go…)
        Keep these things in mind –
        1. If you do not take care of your body with consistent exercise to keep your core strong, you will fuck your body but good. This is a fact. I learned this in school and ignored the advice. I am still kicking myself with my weak aching legs. It is not a suggestion – it is pure common sense.
        2. Most clients want deep work (and when I say deep, I mean they want you to hurt them) because they believe if it doesn’t hurt, it’s not benefiting them at all. You will come to hate those clients for being ridiculously ignorant. You must have the confidence and patience to find a way to educate them about why their thinking is completely backwards and know they are not going to listen 97% of the time. If you do not have the patience to do this, you will be destroying your body working on clients that only get massages once a year for their birthday and expect that massage to fix them completely. You will feel obligated to give them what they want even if you know it is not the right thing for them or you.
        3. The only way to make a lot of money doing massage is to either work for a high-end spa in a big city doing a shitload of massages every shift and making good tips or build up a private clientele and charge them at least $120 a pop (plus cab fare) (which you won’t get unless you work in a big city) The highest commission I’ve ever gotten paid was 50% plus tips in a luxury spa. The massages were $150 and every Saturday was a guaranteed 8 every week. I went home crying more often than not though from exhaustion and pain. I can give you more specific massage income info if needed.
        4. I work for a spa now that hosts many outside events offering chair massage. Learn proper chair massage – you will always be able to make extra cash working at parties, markets and festivals (the money is not wonderous but you will get to be backstage and hear awesome music and meet the coolest people possible). And drink – almost every event has a bar and it is way more fun to do chair massage drunk than not (wow, this is the worst advice in the history of bad advice). Events worked through spas pay hourly what you would get paid to do a regular massage whether you have 1 client in chair or 50.(10-15 minute massages) Festival massages are normally a dollar a minute plus big tips from drunk patrons.
        5. The more treatments you are certified for, the more treatments you can be booked for. I know that is obvious advice but it needed to be said. Here is the problem – hot stone is my favorite massage because it’s fun, takes much less exertion and it’s always more money but not that much more and the spa I work at now DOESN’T offer it on the menu! Reflexology is another favorite because I love working on feet, you get to sit the entire session and clients LOVE it BUT again, most people want deep work not realizing that reflexology is about pressure points not pain. It is expensive to get certified in reflexology but I have never worked in a spa where they gave a shit if you were certified – if a client asks, you just tell them you were certified by the spa you are currently working at (if you are not comfortable with lying, do not become a therapist). Every therapist wants to be booked with spa treatments rather than massage but Swedish and Deep Tissue massages are the most popular and most often booked treatments (and usually people will book the less expensive massage and ask you to do deep work anyway). Individual spas train for these treatments so you do not need additional training.
        6. This is absolutely just my opinion but I feel pretty damn lusty about it. Massage therapists have a passion for the human body – they should not be estheticians. You cannot possibly be great at both things(dodging tomatoes being thrown by audience). However – you will receive commission for selling products which can almost always be sold by giving facials. Sometimes 10% commission on products sold which can add up if the product line is an expensive one. People will buy dogshit from a good esthetician if confidently recommended. The only way a spa can make money is from product sales. They get clients into spa by offering massages and facials but product mark-up is ridiculous. Seriously insane.
        7. And this is the number one and possibly ONLY reason I would have thought twice about becoming a massage therapist. There is no way on god’s green earth you will not be put in many uncomfortable situations by idiots and perverts. To this day, I am nervous about working on men. It happens to every therapist and it is the shittiest experience to have to be part of other than the checkout line on a Sunday afternoon at Trader Joe’s. Men love sex. Many many men believe that being naked in the same room as a female will ensure some form of a sexual encounter. It’s horribly upsetting and makes you feel like a whore and an asshole for spending all that $$$$ on massage school.

        In my experience, most massage therapists are great at healing and terrible at business. In order to run a successful spa, you need to either have a business partner who knows how to balance a checkbook and be extremely computer literate or have a great team of employees who can sell their asses off (not literally).
        I have been a therapist for almost 15 years. I am absolutely burned out but I still love it. I used to want to own my own spa until I realized that what I really love is the fun part of running a spa – picking out the pretty sheets and music and not having to deal with last minute sick therapists not coming in and crappy dissatisfied client bullshit knowing many of them just want discounts for absolutely no good reasons.

        Please let me know if I have successfully answered your question or if you need more detailed info.
        I am sorry I curse so much. It’s the passion talking.

  2. I also apologize for leaving this comment on your ‘How To Comment On This Blog’ section. If I could remove it and save myself from looking like a complete idiot, I would.

  3. First off, thank you so much for taking the time to give me such great, extremely helpful answers.

    Secondly, you’re hilarious, which made reading it that much more entertaining.

    Thirdly, & concerning keeping myself in great physical condition, do you use any resistance bands for your hands or tools such as the Grip Master? My fingers sometimes lock up, so I was considering start strengthening them ASAP?

    The pay strategy was genius…however I have heard that it is recommended to not succeed over 6-7 massages a day? I know pay is based mostly off your clientele and geographic location, but is it possible to make a handsome income from working on 5-6 people a day in a spa? Working on 8 people a day and coming home with chronic pain makes me want to cry for you. The profession I just left was Veterinary Technician, so making around $36,000-40,000 isn’t something that displeases me. I plan on attending school in California, Portland, or Chicago. Not sure if you’re aware of these state’s incomes, but I was curious as to what the average MT makes since I’ve found 4-5 different opposing sources from the all-true magnificent internet.

    The events sound wicked. I’ve always longingly admired the VIP section at music festivals, when massages are offered. & let’s be honest, getting sauced while listening to tunes isn’t exactly my worst day.

    When you have these encounters with these perverted fucks, do you ignore it or politely ask them to stop? I know you’re at risk from the client not coming back, not tipping, demanding a refund, but Christ, I don’t know if I could ignore that.

    Lastly, I think what drew me enticingly to this profession was the overall zen, passion, and the seemingly open schedule the life allows. Aside from possibly working with drama hounds, is the lifestyle all the glamour I hope it to be? Flexible schedules, good pay, meeting new people, having a relaxing day doing something you love? Stress really fucks up my body, so this career seemed very delicious.

    Again, thank you so much. I kept thinking,’this shit is gold,’ as I was reading through.
    I left my last course of study due to being undereducated of what I was getting myself into, so I really want to be 100% with this choice, and you are making that happen for me. THANK YOU.

    • In my next life, I want to be you – or a cat. I am eerily impressed and envious over your ability to plan your life instead of just letting it happen to you.
      Re: Resistance bands for hands: Never used them. I use the old-style hand grips once in a while while(looks grammatically worse than it actually is wrong) watching one of my beloved crime drama shows but I just looked up the Gripmaster and I don’t hate the look of it. I was taught to ice hands after every massage. I didn’t listen because I was way too busy thinking about hoola-hoops or nail polish colors. I ended up only icing my hands after my thumb joints were aching. I haven’t had big issues with my hands however if I had to do it over again, I would do ALL of the hand and finger exercises & stretches learned in school before and after EVERY massage, ice them as often as possible and take herbs and supplements for joint health. I am currently taking Tumeric capsules because although making a paste and applying it on hands and forearms is more effective, I don’t want to be stained yellow for obvious reasons.
      I DO NOT recommend doing 8 massage in one day but I work with therapists that still do that and then balance it out by working slower shifts during the rest of the week. Everyone has a different tolerance and does what works for them. It’s not about age. I work with old people that still do double shifts (8:30am – 9pm) because they want to have more days off. They also need to take time off for hip replacements and job-related injuries(true).
      It also depends on the client and whether or not you are doing deep work. You can do 5 Swedish massages on clients who just want a flowing relaxing massage but sometimes I can do one huge muscular football player type dude that will fuck me up for weeks(those are the guys who are homophobic and don’t want men to work on them) (because they are so god damn irresistible that everyone wants a piece of them).
      My current spa pays according to experience so when you are hired, even if you are freakishly talented, you will not get paid more than the lowest pay scale, which I believe is $20 for a 60 minute Swedish massage. I shit you not. Awful, irresponsible and crappy therapists will get paid over twice that just for being alive longer.
      Are these responses too long? Fuck it.
      The perverts I have encountered are sneaky older pathetics that will almost always costume their actual lechery by asking you to work on areas that are conveniently near their groin. Don’t get me wrong – not every man who wants hip or thigh work is looking for a hand-job. Damn it – yes they are. Spas are not physical therapy clinics or gyms where you would expect that type of work. Even deep work at a spa is deep Swedish. It is. I used to ignore the perverts because I wasn’t sure what was going on and gave them the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn’t have. I’ve learned that I have ALWAYS been right in my assumptions and then hated myself for a long long time for allowing those clients to put me in those situations when they were asking for what they believed they could receive. Movies & tv shows are our worst enemies. Massage is usually portrayed as something sleazy, performed by girls wearing small tight outfits and red lipstick. There are sadly a trillion places that use massage as a front for brothels. So if men can get it at one place, why wouldn’t they assume they can get it at every massage venue? It’s hard to be smart when you are thinking with organs not made for that purpose.
      Lastly – I laughed out loud at the overall zen philosophy but not in a distasteful judgmental way but in a ‘that’s what we all thought and were wrong’ way. Just because we work in a place that offers relaxation and plays Enya doesn’t mean it is relaxing for us(working in a spa). It is most of the time stressful with clients coming in late for appointments and expecting their full time even if you have clients booked for the next hour, there are room temperature issues that you have NO control over which will then ruin the entire experience for the client and in turn, you; (grammar out the window at this point) demanding and nasty clients who will break your zen barrier with one nasty look or comment, $3 tips for a $150 treatment that may throw your lower back out, running out of massage cream or clean linens, etc.
      That was all harsh but true. You can absolutely enjoy less stress and more zen if you have your own massage practice and can choose your clientele and schedule. Absolutely. Keep in mind that you will, however, have to lug your 40lb table around unless your clients have their own.
      Drama hounds is both funny and very very true.
      ‘Lastly’ is now history.
      Even though I’ve made it sound worse than working in a coal mine, there are actually benefits of working in a spa. Spa gets clients for you, health insurance (in many places), 401k, tips, and most of all the social interaction and camaraderie of other therapists (that you can drink and do drugs with) (I am a parent’s worst nightmare right now).
      I am sorry if I am crushing any idealistic hopes and dreams you may have had about a massage career but I sincerely wish someone had told me this stuff before I was elbow deep in it.
      Obviously I am passionate about spas and wouldn’t be working in them for thousands of years if there weren’t more pros than cons but then again, I am not known for always doing smart things.
      And don’t forget, you can never ben 100% with any choice because life doesn’t give a shit what our plans are.
      You can however take some time to make informed decisions and not being dragged around like a dead antelope in a lion’s jaws(ewwwww…)
      Now I’m hungry.

    • I don’t know what this is but you are awesome to nominate me. The last award I got was for a pie-eating contest and it wasn’t even first place. Thanks so much! I will def check it out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s