Yes, you read correctly. You should not eat before a massage but I can absolutely eat while giving you that massage. Hypocritical awareness – check.
Sometimes it’s because we’re slammed with back to back massages and don’t have a break.
But usually it’s because I’m bored and it gives me something to do during the massage (besides the actual massage).
The client is face down for the first half of the massage so you could pretty much play naked Twister as long as one hand is on them doing something.
Obviously you’re not gonna eat something smelly like a tuna sandwich or loud like potato chips but a bagel – sure. A brownie – absolutely.
The room is dark and there is usually a counter or small table somewhere in the room. Not anywhere near their face or on the sink where it can and will fall in.
You have them cut the bagel in quarters. It’s all in the details people. If you’re gonna do something prohibited, slam it hard and with excellence.
I can go for an hour without food but without coffee? That’s just cruel. So here’s the drill. You can keep coffee (in a travel cup) in the cupboard until you start the massage or bring it in the room but hold it down low or walk in backwards while closing the door so you’re hiding it because sometimes the client doesn’t understand that face down doesn’t mean face up. After completing each area of the body, enjoy your morning brew while quietly placing the cup back down on table. Have an altoids or a tiny cup of mouthwash by the sink out of sight so you can use one or the other before turning client over and having coffee breath in their face. I sound insane right now. It seems so normal while doing it but writing it makes me contemplate checking myself into a psych ward. Again.
After they are face up, cover their eyes with a cloth drape so you can finish your coffee ummm I mean so it’s more relaxing for the client with less light. Place cup back in cupboard before finishing massage because seeing a coffee cup or any food items in the room during a massage is grossly unprofessional.
For more elaborate instruction, please contact me.
spa-curious 
This is such great insider information! I am so going to pop up and turn around unexpectantly during my next massage to try to catch “you” (ie whomever my massage therapist is) in the act.
You so are not going to do that but you’ll want to.
we can always tell your jerking off or texting because you can only do so much for so long with hand before it gets annoying
only massage whores know that.
I would like one of these devices in the photo so I can still use both hands and eat at the same time. I did know a therapist that could sleep while he worked! That is a skill I need to learn!
A therapist that slept while he worked? That sounds like every therapist we work with. Unless they’re all just dead. Wishful thinking.